It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
