Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
