They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
