Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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