Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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