I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Randomize
