Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
