Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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