guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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