Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Randomize
