no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
