Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
