You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
