Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
