I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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