I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
