he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
