I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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