the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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