sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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