But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
