Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
