Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize
