so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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