those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Semen is not good for contacts.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
