i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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