I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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