Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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