i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
