When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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