You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The air was thick with penises
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize