she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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