He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
