Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
