what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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