So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
