she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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