I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Randomize
