around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
