yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
