If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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