I'm going to jail i love you
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize