Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
