You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize