I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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