and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i drank out of a bidet.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
