i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
