Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
