I cockslap morals
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
