new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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