who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
