i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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