Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize