I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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