just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
