your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
i out mim tonsoeep
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
