Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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