Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
