Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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