when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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