so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
