Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
