Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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