Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize