I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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