Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize