No awkward lesbian experiences without me
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
