garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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