I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
